I Scare Myself

Do you ever have those little "aha!" moments? Seems to me I've had quite a few in the last few days. And it seems that the hits just keep coming. In a good way. Which has really knocked me off my game this week. In a good way. I guess after so much crap for so very long I'm not so sure what to do with all these little nuggets of good that keep happening to me. I guess I'll just go with it and thank my lucky stars that they're happening and not question them coming my way. It started when I had to ask my property manager if we could "adjust" the rent while I was unemployed. She said she didn't have a problem but would need to talk to her boss. She ended up having to talk to the owners, something she said she was soooo uncomfortable doing, but she did anyway because she wanted to help me and she said she'd try. And wow, they modified my rent for 6 months. Granted, I still owed it, but it was less stressful and gee, I had someone in my corner. Then I got a job I really like, working with people I really like. Imagine that. Sure, it's contract, but it's an income. And it's been a long time since I've WANTED to get up in the morning and go to work!

Then my boy Traver got sick with his urinary blockage. Had to wait overnight to take him to the vet because there was no way I could afford to take him to the emergency vet. That would have been $1k just to get in the door with him and just have him looked at. So, I waited to see my vet until the next day, and called my boss to let him know what was going on. Bossman says, "No worries. Take care of the cat, get in when you can." (Love my boss). So, Traver and I go see the vet. We find out about his blockage and that it might be fatal for him...I guess I knew this in the back of my head, but I was playing the hand I was dealt. At that point we were up to $1500 at the vet. Because I was a long-standing repeat customer (and they're awesome people) I was able to negotiate payments for all of this for my boy. Whew! So, he stayed at the FixMe Hotel and I went to work. All my work friends were supportive about my boy. Did I mention I like my work friends as well? They're awesome, too! Anyway, on with the story. Through all of this has been my awesome friend Denise. She's been there, picking me up and putting me back together. Sometimes big pieces, sometimes itty bitty ones. She's laughed with me, she's cried with me. But, she's been there for me every time. :D

So, today I call my property manager to talk with her about the lease renewal coming up. We're discussing payments and such. She tells me she's willing to let my lease go to month-to-month for a couple of months to help me get back on my feet financially before I sign the new lease (the rent goes up) and start paying back the back rent from when we had adjusted the rent when I was unemployed. Her idea, not mine. Do I have the most awesome landlord, or what?

So, the "I Scare Myself" part of this was that it all-of-a-sudden hit me today that I'd finally gotten through all of the crap with the house and the bills and all of the garbage...the phone wasn't ringing, the mail wasn't crammed full of notices about "You owe this. We're coming to get you"...this was the biggest AHA! moment of them all. It really was wrapping up! And once I file the bankruptcy (if I can figure out how to pay for it) and have my 2010 taxes done (and figure out how to pay for that and Uncle Sam for those, too) I'll have all of the garbage accounted for and I really can move on and let it all go. WHEW! I never thought I'd be able to say that! I know never is a long, long time. But I was really beginning to wonder. Maybe that light at the end of the tunnel ISN'T an oncoming train. ;)