Goals

It's been a long time since I reached a goal, much less blew through two in a week! Yes, two. In a week. Granted the two I blew through were close, very close. Because of the type of goals, I didn't expect to blow through them in a week. My first goal, and a major one in my mind that only a few years ago I thought I'd never see (and probably wouldn't have without the lap-band surgery) was seeing the under-side of the 300-lb mark. I broke that barrier toward the end of last week. The second goal that followed shortly behind it was the 100-lb total loss mark which actually put me at the 295-lb mark (another milestone I wasn't sure I'd ever see without the lap-band) and here I am, blowing through both in a matter of days. All attributed to Kelli's "better living through chemistry." Pretty funny that I can't wait for my weekly weigh-in now where as before the scale was packed away under the sink because I couldn't stand to look at it and think about what it might tell me...that I hadn't lost anything or even worse that I'd gained. I'm very happy with my progress (must be the meds - hehehehe) and would like to see that little graph to the right continue keep going downward consistently. :D

Eveready Bunny on Stearoids

I think the doctor and I may have finally gotten to the right general place with meds. I finally feel human again. No more of the extreme roller coaster from the anxious to the happy to the sad of having to be talked off the ledge every month that included no motivation to want to do ANYTHING. Not even the fun things. Just getting up and going to a job that I LOVE took everything I had. And when I got home at night and there was nothing left, how could I look at all those little pairs of eyes that I love and not be sad because I couldn't give them everything I wanted to because I didn't have anything left? You give to them because you love them, but when it comes to yourself, there's no motivation, there's just nothing...zip. Those days are a thing of the past and, hopefully, that's where they'll stay. I actually WANT to do homework, and paint, and sew and knit and spin. And I don't feel the need to just sleep all the time now. I just cannot believe the difference in my life. As my friend Kelli would say, "better living through chemistry." I'm all for it. :D

It seems I've gotten more done in the last two weeks than I have in the last 6 months. Amazing! I'm just about done with my huge project of swapping bedrooms in my apartment. I've finished with the huge stuff (moving furniture, putting up shelves and swapping closets) and am down to just the haul-out and touching up portion of the program. I'm physically tired but very happy with the results. I'm looking forward to when I'm completely done and can get into my sewing room and really start to use it again. I have projects lining up in my head. I just need time and my sewing room to get them done. It feels so good to be excited about life again! Hello, happiness! I've so missed you!