D-VA

I am the resident D-VA and don't you forget it! Not that I'll let you. No, I'm not fickle, I'm not vain, I am Cat and I rule this castle with an iron paw....okay, well, I'm really waiting for Chessa to hand it off to me, but it sounds really good, right? I personify all that is Cat in this world and have honed it down to a fine ideal. I can turn it on and off in a split second. My humans often shake their heads and wonder how I do it. I am CAT. That is how I do it...that and a lot of practice in the mirror when they're not looking!

the me they DON'T get to see! ;)

Happy New Year

Well, it's been awhile. The holidays are over and the decorations have been put away for another year. The weather is sunny and brisk outside. Chessa is home, the tumor on her paw has been removed and the outlook is good. The surgery went well and now time will tell if the wound will finally heal closed and stop bleeding. It's amazing how much better she feels, even after the surgery she went through. I can't imagine the pain she must have been in but not a peep out of her. I hope I can do half as well as she does in the same type of situation. My darling girl.

This has been a very strange holiday for me, not wanting to decorate for Christmas, yet celebrating with friends. It's been a very enlightening and peaceful time. As the new year hailed in, I was wondering what new resolutions I wanted to make and what dreams I wanted to pursue when I realized, most of my dreams had either been realized or fallen by the wayside in the rush and reality of life. My biggest dream, one I never thought to obtain was my house. And thanks to Mom, here I am. I couldn't have done it without her. And through all the landscaping, bathroom remodelling, laying of new flooring, etc, that dream was realized and POP! it was gone. Oh, no! Now what? So, 2009 is the year of me finding my dreams. I'm making a list of the things I'd like to do/see and we'll see what happens from there. One of the other dreams I had was the Alaska cruise we went on in May. I couldn't have gone with a neater group of people and have all the wonderful memories. I'd like to do Juneau again and do more photography (another dream that has some goals to go with it that are tied to getting healthier). All in all, it's all about me figuring out what I want to do/be when I grow up. Not a bad challenge, eh? Sounds rather like fun.

The Meaning of Christmas

I really hate to admit it, but it's taken me 48 years to really understand the meaning of Christmas. Christmas has come so fast this year and I've had no desire to participate in any of it. It all has seemed like such a chore...put up the tree only to have to take it down again in a month. Decorations, the same. Our house is bare of the normal Christmas trappings. Wait! Before you cry about us not having a tree up and missing out on Christmas, I really have to tell you I understand more now the meaning of it than I have in all the years past with the parties and the presents and all of the festivities. This year, I've finally found peace. Not peace on earth, but peace in my heart. It's taken me the whole holiday season to figure out that I needed the peace. Thank you, dear friends for showing me what this season is really all about.

I am Thankful

I often need gentle reminders that I really do have it good and that I do have a lot more than most. I don't always remember that when I'm lying in bed in the morning, grumbling to myself because I have to get up to go to work that 1) I have a job to go to; 2) I'm healthy enough to get out of bed to go to work. So here is my list of "thankful for" not in any particular order:

I'm thankful for my friends: who accept me for who I am and don't try to make me into someone I can't or don't want to be. Who have open arms for me even when I'm holding you at arms length trying to make you stay away and you won't let me.

I'm thankful for my job: while it may be taxing trying to figure out what we're supposed to be doing for who and how, I still have a desk, a computer, a phone and a paycheck.

I'm thankful for my cats: who remind me daily what unconditional love is all about. And that unconditional love makes all the other decisions in my life very, very simple.

I'm thankful for the change in health insurance: that is leading me down the path to better health in ways I'd only dreamt about in the past.

This is a day of miracles and resolution. First, I actually got up this morning, finally starting to get used to the new meds. Second, my OT dispute has been resolved and a check is forthcoming. Third, we've discovered the surging issue with the truck is related to the AC/heater unit. For now, the truck runs well as long as I'm not sitting at a stop light for long with the defroster on. Fourth, I finally got the rollover on my 401(k) completed, no thanks to Charles Schwab (the account administrator). I always forget that dealing with all of those finance folks about moving money and who needs to do what first is like being the ball in a tennis match as the players get more and more angry with each stroke (insert: question) that's lobbed into their court. By the time I finally got done, not only had I given up, but I'd give in and sworn I'd never revert back to a finance personality even though that was my calling. So, things are calming down (read: Candy is cooling off) and "projects" are getting completed. It is really nice to cross a bunch of things off my list this week, even though it meant I was beyond crazy busy.

Suz came down last Friday and we worked in the last corner of the back yard that needed landscaping - she visited as well. We got the gazebo/arbor thingy built and all of the roses (except a couple that go other places) planted. We ran into a couple re-design moments - one was not putting a bush 8 inches from one of the drip controllers so that I didn't get all scratched up adjusting the sprinklers. Bummer, I need to buy a tree rose for that spot. There's a chore. (big grin) The only thing we didn't get done was move mom's fountain. That can wait until Spring or a nice weekend in the new year. Pictures to follow on what we did get accomplished. I can't wait until Spring when the climbers start to cover the gazebo/arbor and are in full bloom. I have this amazing picture in my mind and will be so happy if it even comes remotely close in reality. We'll see.

Old & new woobies

I never cease being amazed how things always come about how and when they should, regardless of how I want it to happen. With the new company, I'm having to leave my favorite old woobie Kaiser HMO behind. Change is frightening enough when you have your woobie, but even worse without. So I went back to the doctor I've seen off and on through the years when I haven't been able to have Kaiser. When she walked into the exam room on Wednesday, there was a huge smile on her face. She was REALLY happy to see me! She went on to tell me that she had thought of mom a couple weeks back (she was mom's doctor as well) and was wondering how I was doing...and there I was. So, she asked how I was doing and I immediately burst into tears. She calmly handed me a tissue box and said, "I understand." She's known me for so long that she knew my emotional response isn't a normal thing for me. We went over the list of things I had and put together a game plan. She was very pleased with my weight loss efforts and supported what I am doing. She also is helping by re-evaluating my meds and moving me to things that will better help where I am right now. Wow! A doctor that listens and helps! And I was worried about losing my woobie. Maybe I did, but I think I have a much better woobie now. Instead of telling me all the things I can't/shouldn't do, she's talking about all the things WE can/will do together to move my health plans forward. And all I can say is "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"